Been Sooo Busy!

It has been more than two months that I last made an entry in our blog. This is because I have been busy with my home based work that I failed to update what has happened in the days before. O well better late than never!

Work for me has become an avenue to express one of my frustrations - be a writer. Well at first I wanted to be a creative writer in the hopes of joining the ranks of J.K. Rowling, Nicholas Sparks, Mia Sandoval and the great Almira Jose...shucks how I really wish...Instead I ended up with technical writing. It's not that I am complaining or anything but it was quite a big plunge for me. Academic research writing is so much more structured and most especially when clients demand a very particular format of writing. Anyway that's life and the pay isn't bad either.

It may be a very feasible set-up to work at home but it also has its drawbacks - staggered time for my Matthew. Everytime I sitdown in front of the computer, he'll surely follow and ask to be seated on my lap. But as deadlines burn my head, my impatient heart gets the best of me and sometimes asks him to play alone. How I dread every minute of that but momma's got to work. It's not that I need to but I WANT to.

I really feel guilty when I sometimes put my work first before my family. I'm not afraid to admit this (even with the possibility of being judged by others) because I believe it does happen. The guilt I may be experiencing may come from the years of society's upbringing on the female role that when one is married she becomes a wife and a mother period. I don't want to forget that I am a person first and foremost and that I have my own personality, wants and desires. After I stopped working, having the research writer work makes me feel fulfilled because I am doing something for myself. Even when I get into trouble with deadlines; or that I have no knowledge of the topic whatsoever; and even when most of my clients can be overly-demanding; at the end of the day, once I have completed my work, I feel so happy. The kind of happiness you don't get from your husband or from your child - but from yourself.